New Year Resolutions

And What I Think About Them.

My daughter and I were discussing New Years Resolutions yesterday, particularly regarding a new Facebook phase called The Decade Challenge. This challenge prompts you to post a picture of yourself 10 years ago and another of yourself now to see how you have changed, if you have. My daughter is 22 and a lot of her friends and peers have been doing this challenge which we both find fairly amusing. I mean most of them were 12 a decade ago so the changes are pretty obvious but a lot of them seem surprised at how different they look. I suggested Byzantine Boy do it as well, he was 1 a decade ago... "Omg, look how I have changed, I look nothing like that now!!!" You get my point.

Me Now

Me 2010

Definitely lost weight, mostly on my face. Also much lighter red hair, plus you can properly see my face in the current one!

But every year, regardless of whether it is a new decade or not, millions of people all over the world make new years resolutions, most of which don't last much beyond January.

So what is it about the end of an old year and the beginning of a new one that causes this reflective reaction? And is there a way of making these resolutions into actual, positive life changes?

I think it is mostly a time and age thing. For me, the driving force was, I really do not want to end another year in the same place that I am in now and certainly not another decade. I think that is what a lot of people think or along those lines anyway. Of course there are some people who think that you have to have new years resolutions, like you have to have chocolate eggs at Easter and too much to eat and drink over Christmas.

I have to admit that I too have been doing a lot of soul searching at the end of 2019, mostly because I felt that at the end of that decade, there really wasn't a lot of difference between me now and me a decade ago. I may have lost a little weight and dyed my hair bright red, but in terms of personal and business development, not a huge amount had changed in my opinion. I mean I met my other half about a decade ago and we have been living together for the last 8 years, my daughter grew up, qualified spectacularly in her chosen field of expertise, moved out, moved in with her fella and got her dream job.  My son's are bigger by far, but mostly these are changes that have happened around me.

I was still struggling with feelings of failure, my business was not a success, by any stretch of the imagination and at the end of 2019, I was still running a jewellery shop, which - quite frankly - I hated.

So it was really at the beginning of December, when I had a little breakdown, that I started taking stock of where my life was and why it wasn't going where I wanted it to.

But probably for most of the same reasons that anyone makes new year/new decade resolutions. Did I really want to be in the same place this time 2020, what about this time 2029?

I mean the answer to both of those questions was a resounding and echoing NO!

So what did I need to do to make the right changes to my life to not be in the same place then. It was clearly no good just making resolutions as I do that every year and they never last. I needed to find a way of making changes in such a way that they did last.

The first thing I decided to do was scrap the jewellery business. If you are working from home on a business that is literally giving you panic attacks, it is time to move on. My jewellery shop is still open, but I won't be marketing it, introducing new lines etc. When the hosting runs out, I won't be renewing it. That phase of my life is over now. 

I am focusing all my attention to micro mosaicing, a craft I am extremely passionate about and I don't mind telling the whole world that! So the first thing I do every morning, is come and chat to you on here about what is going on in my life and my business. It is a bit like journaling in that as the year and indeed decade goes on I can check back and see what I was up to each day. I can also look at what worked and what didn't so I can build on my strengths. Today I am going to be mosaicing some projects that have already been started and try to get them ready for the next stage, (varnishing and finishing off) priming some new projects and doing the designs on some projects that have already been primed! Busy day, but at least I am never bored.

My health had been deteriorating rapidly towards the end of last year and I knew some major changed needed to happen there, but I also knew that if I just stopped everything straight away, that I would bomb out in about a week. So at 7pm on the 31st of December 2019, I smoked my last cigarette. I have not smoked one since and quite frankly I am really glad to have stopped. Obviously it is going to have an enormous impact on my health, especially as I am diabetic. 

I use an app on my phone called EasyQuit stop smoking and on it I can input how many cigarettes I was smoking a day and how much that was costing. It gives you the health benefits from the first few hours of not smoking to how your risks of lung cancer are reduced 10 years later. It also tells you how much money you have saved as the days, weeks and months go by. Now at 6.30 pm every day, I work out how much money I have saved and pop the amount into my savings account. I put £11 in last night as I only started doing this yesterday, I was very proud and excited. I worked out that I was probably spending about £45.00 a week on tobacco and papers and everything, so my savings are going to grow nicely thank you very much. It will be so nice to actually have savings for once. That is some true motivation right there!

Sometime the best way to make money is to save money!

I need to eat better and exercise more, but I know these are not changes I can make straight away and all at once, especially as there is still considerable amounts of junk food in the house left over from Christmas. So rather than making resolutions about dieting and exercising, I am just going to make small changes every day until I get into the habit of being healthier.

A friend recommended a book called Atomic Habits by James Clear and I bought it for Kindle. I haven't finished it yet, but what I have read so far is groundbreaking and life changing. It talks about gradually changing habits by 1% a day until you transform them into new habits, ones that lead to better results. I am not going into detail, but I thoroughly recommend reading it if you are intending to make changes this year.

I think that it doesn't matter when you make resolutions for change, at the end of a year, the beginning of a new year or at any stage in between. What matters are the reasons for making the change and the steps we take to make the changes. I mostly think that good planning, recognising your trigger points and taking steps to avoid them and some kind of support system are all crucial in making these changes profound and lasting.

Have you made any resolutions for 2020? If so please comment below and let me know what you are attempting. I am more than happy to provide some support for anyone if they want it.

You can comment below by clicking on the comments link, or get in touch personally by messaging me on my Byzantine Crafts Facebook Page.

What ever else you do resolve to be as happy as you can be this year, this decade and for the rest of your life. You deserve happiness, so do I!

Bright Blessings, Nici  

Ps. Other things I intend to do more this year are singing and writing poetry. Are there any hobbies you are thinking of getting more involved with this year?